My 27th year of life.
Thinking back on how I thought it would unfold, it has had little to nothing to do with the way it actually turned out. There were lots of flight tickets involved, many rooms and trips booked, quite a few international weddings to attends, my family visiting as a whole for the first time in years. What seemed like the perfect year for outward exploration turned more into a chance to take a gradual journey inwards –I had many adventures planned, but I ended up embarking on many others I wasn't expecting.
Restriction of external freedoms and reduction of social opportunities enabled for a change to dig deeper into the own capacity for generating excitement, especially about the mundane, as a long moment of calmness and introspection spread out over months, only quietly disrupted by scheduled duties and routine. I have discovered a hobby that –based on the amount of brain space it has conquered– qualifies as a new passion. Exploring some new friendships that I have had the time and space to grant an opportunity, have developed in the most organic way possible, with increasing understanding and slowly unfolding appreciation and bonding. Additionally, I seem to have one the lottery with someone who is so wonderful in so many ways that I'd undoubtedly need a whole separate novel-length blog entry to accurately describe him. Transitioning from having practically zero idea to developing an acceptable basic level of understanding about this whole other exciting and promising medical field that I had never really seriously considered during my time as a student, I have felt satisfaction, which, in retrospective, signifies validation for taking this unexpected turn in my life. At this point, there is nothing I feel like I am not brave enough to be willing to try, any big change that I wouldn't be willing to face, if I felt like it was worth it. Last night at the bowling alley my system was overflooded with joy and gratitude and pride. I have a whole bunch of wonderful human beings in my life, they are all different and unique in their own ways, so they touch my heart in truly diverse manners. Still, they all share a whole lot of qualities that not only earn my affection, but my respect and my admiration as well, which makes me want to keep them close: hard-working, transparent, honorable, good-hearted.
I look back to October 2010. I arrived in Germany alone. I had no idea how my life –how I would turn out. But I remember being excited about it. Through a long process of maturation, self-discovery, mixed social experiences, good and bad choices and consecutive consequences, feedback, trial and error… I interpret my life to this day as the result of what I've ended up deliberately or inadvertently building, and I like it.
Happiness is the ability to appreciate the present. But some presents are louder than others, e.g. important occasions, which through their significance and transience grab your awareness and attention begging you to look at them through the lens of transcendence and enlightened consciousness. This has been one of them. I do not know what my 28th year of life has in store for me, but if it's anything like this last, I know I will have no regrets.
